“The fear of being located or having my family harmed is a terrifying reality I live with.”
As a face of PRIDE, I proudly identify myself as a Queer Sikh woman, preferring the she-series pronouns. The importance of pronouns extends beyond mere words; they are a testament to our individuality and our power to define ourselves. They remind us to respect the nuances of human identity and to look beyond physical perceptions. In so many ways, pronouns are not just about gender identity; they symbolize the respect we owe each other as human beings.
My journey of self-identification has not been without its challenges. As a Queer Sikh woman, I have been subjected to absurd and violent comments, both in person and online. Threats of sexual violence, especially from the homophobic and misogynist Desi male community, are a constant menace. The fear of being located or having my family harmed is a terrifying reality I live with. The most searing remarks have been those directed at my parents, particularly after I posted about the 1984 Sikh Genocide, a horrific event my mother barely survived. The comments state, "Your father should have been given the tire necklace treatment" or "Your mother should have been killed in 1984". Suggesting that my parents should have been victims of this genocide is not only anti-Sikh but also makes light of a tragic historical event. I have screenshots of these two comments saved as they serve as a stark reminder of the unsafe world queer folks inhabit and the urgent need for support.
“I always felt as though I was the only queer South Asian in all of America.”
Over the years, I have witnessed a shift in the landscape around me. When I first realized I was queer at the age of 12 or 13, I felt like the only openly queer person in my town and neighboring areas. This was a time, even as part of popular culture, when homophobia was rampant, LGBTQ+ rights were unprotected, and there was barely any language to express our identities. We were disconnected and relegated to the shadows. I always felt as though I was the only queer South Asian in all of America and it wasn't until around 2016, with the advent of social media and the internet, that I began to feel less alone. The rise of political movements like Black Lives Matter brought renewed focus on political issues and community building, greatly benefiting the queer community. This period marked a significant shift in public knowledge and understanding of the LGBTQ+ community and history.
Our journey is far from over. Despite the progress, we still have a long way to go, especially considering the ongoing attacks on LGBTQ+ rights worldwide. However, every step we take brings us closer to a world where everyone, regardless of their identity, can live with dignity, respect, and love. Let us continue to strive for a world where no one must live in fear of being who they are. Let us remember that our strength lies in our diversity, and our unity can bring about the change we wish to see.
This is a guest post by Ravjot Mehek Singh for Tilted Lotus. Tilted Lotus is a culturally-rooted apparel brand that is a strong and proud LGBTQ+ ally.
The hero photo shows Ravjot blazing Runway 7 at New York Fashion Week in the Elephant Energy Button-Down Dress. Ravjot’s personal favorite is our Playful Peacocks three-piece set.
